The other day, I had just come out of my house and closed the gate when a pedestrian said, “Your chain is open.”
My mind immediately started this chain of thought—On my jeans? Oh, my Goodness! Why? Why? Why? How can you forget to close your zip, you dummy dum-dum? How can I zip it back up with no one noticing?
I started looking all over the place to calculate the number of people on their balconies, their point of view in case I tried to close the zip. Number of people on the street, their point of view…
Wait a minute. I’m standing in front of my house! Why the hell do I close it on the street when I can go inside my house and do it there?
And just as I am about to turn around to reopen the gate, to go inside and close my zip, the pedestrian who had so kindly pointed out the open zip, elaborated (yes, that thought process happened between time it took him to take 2 steps. Human mind is faster than supercomputers for saving us the embarrassment because of open zips). “The chain on your bag is open.”
I. Was. Floored.
With relief? With stupidity? I don’t know.
I thanked him and promptly closed the chain on my bag, all while thinking of how big a pervert I am to think that the first thing people see on me is my crotch…
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Mili is pen name of Ankita Maurya. She has a bachelor’s degree in psychology and economics and is currently pursuing her master’s. She is one of those obnoxious people who prefer to be behind the camera than in front of it.