I believe that by reading the title only you must have guessed what this blog will be about. You must be thinking that ‘Meh… one more feminism blog and talk is here.’ But no, this is not written with keeping feminism in mind. This blog is written by keeping the strength and power of a girl in mind. The strength to challenge society, the courage to fight the patriarchy, and the endurance to fulfill her dreams in all the opposite circumstances. This blog is not about criticizing anyone, it’s about grabbing the attention of everybody to those big and small problems that male never face but Indian females do. 

I know the time has changed, we have modernized ourselves and are giving equal rights and positions to females. But still, there are so many things that females are facing. The things are in disguise that all of us have heard or even said once in a while unconsciously. And those things will not even look like they are gender-specific or humiliating because our society has become used to it. I don’t know about how females are treated overseas, but I do know how it feels to be a female belonging to India.

I have a plethora of things that I can relate to from my own life and all these things have started from very childhood so here we go with the pandora’s box of an Indian female’s life. The very first thing that every Indian girl has faced is that ‘GORA RANG’ (white color of skin). No matter what your skin colour is, if you are dark people will say or think oh she is dark who is gonna marry her. I know you all must be thinking that this era has gone, people have become unprejudiced, skin color doesn’t matter now a days, but deep down we know that the discrimination is there in our society. Now come to the fun part, if your skin color is light, and trust me it becomes more dangerous having light skin color. Parents are always worried that due to the fair color of their daughter boys will be more attracted towards her, what if anyone will do wrong with her and the flooded thoughts will go on and on. And obviously, most of the males in India are obsessed with fair skin color, they don’t care about anything but fair skin. I have personally experienced this thing from my school time. I have an example of one of my friends, she got so frustrated by her classmates that she tried to make her skin color dark by sitting in sunlight for many hours. And it is just pathetic, and the situation is made more pathetic by Indian advertisements of cosmetics to make skin fair. Well, I’ll not go there, they are just doing their business and taking advantage of the loophole in our society.

Our society needs to understand that skin color is not something that is in our hands. And there are much more things to look for in a human which will be permanent. Another most popular belief that is still there is judging a girl by the type of clothes she wears, and I cannot resist myself by giving the popular example of the comparison between crop top with saree and blouse. Most of the people wearing western clothes are associated with modernization. But apart from modernization, I have a different aspect that is comfort, satisfaction, and confidence. If a girl is wearing shorts then there can be the possibility that wearing shorts gives her comfort, it is not like she wants to show her skin to the world, maybe she feels much more comfortable in those clothes rather than draping herself in 10 yards of saree. It is just like for different seasons and different occasions there are different kinds of clothes to wear. But our society becomes judgmental. The eyes that stare in public places make any female a lot uncomfortable. And it is not about people staring only if you are wearing western clothes, in most of the small cities even if you are not showing an inch of your skin people still stare only because you are a girl. Moving forward this is for all the Indian parents. When a girl hits her twenties and completes her education they start finding a groom. They say ‘abhi se dhundhenge tab jaa kar ek do saal baad koi milega’ or ‘kyaa pata itna accha ghar aage milega ya nahi‘ (“They will have to start searching now to find someone a year later” or ” Who knows if they will find someone or not”). 

Oh, come on! How can they be so sure that what will happen tomorrow, all these things become barriers for a girl in pursuing her dreams? It wastes her time and energy to fight with all of these crap and sick mentality people. Being talked about marriage, how can we forget about dowry. If giving and taking dowry is a criminal offence then why are they still investing and saving money for the sake of the marriage of their daughters.

I’ll tell you the name has been changed and now it has become ‘gifts’ instead of dowry in higher class and for middle and lower class Indian family it is still ‘Dahej’, no matter how much we educate people but still they will gonna save money for their daughter’s marriage and will not spend it on her education. Another sick thought that we all have heard is ‘A girl and a boy can never be friends‘, and I think our society has taken this phrase too seriously. A girl and a boy can be just friends and can be very good friends. But those starry eyes of society when any girl talks to a boy in a public place makes girls so uncomfortable. Some boys take it as if that girl is available and it is just so sick.

I have only talked on a superficial level, there are many more things that a girl has to face at home, in school, in the workplace and wherever she goes. Society will change or not or how much time it will take, but the change can begin from us. Girls should be rebellious for their own desires and dreams. Society will always put barriers on us but we should not impose those barriers on ourselves. After all we have got one life, and we cannot live it according to others. 

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Hello, My name is Tanya Diwedi, an artist by heart and an engineer by profession. 😉

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Email- i.am.tanya100@gmail.com

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