Just a few days ago I read a dialogue from a K-drama named “More than Friends” which hit me like a truck.
It said and I quote, “I think it’s abusive, to tell someone who’s hurting to be strong.”
It felt weird yet not untrue to some extent. You do not tell someone who is physically hurt to be strong, you advise them to take rest and let the time heal the wound. Then why not for someone who is mentally sick or hurt?
As per the survey conducted by the Suicide Prevention in India Foundation (SPIF) it was found nearly 40 percent of the total 1685 participants suffered from common mental health disorders, such as anxiety and depression, due to pandemic.
The issue I am writing about isn’t related to mental health, but more focused on the surroundings, the societal response towards those who suffer. It is from my personal experience that whenever a person, whether it be male or female, talks about their mental problem a common reaction of the general populace (including friends, family and other close members) is not to offer comfort or solace, instead they are advised to be strong.
‘Everything will be alright if you hold on.’
A common sentence often spoken by close friends.
Is this the proper behavior that the person suffering expects from them?
In fact, he/she themself knows better than anyone that they need to be strong, they need to hold on. But if they keep hearing people close to them saying it again, it might feel more hurting. It might feel like rubbing salt on their wounds. This type of support does more harm than good.
What I believe is, a person in distress, especially one that is mentally, needs a person that would just listen to them without judging them or their actions. A good listener is all they need because there are already tons of thoughts in their mind. Their mind is in total chaos, a piece of mess which they are trying to solve bit by bit and they are trying to lessen this chaos by speaking it out. By telling them to be strong, you are telling them to forfeit the right to feel pain, the right to feel hurt, the right to feel their emotions and more importantly the right to speak and discover themselves. Agreed that the society is harsh, the world is cruel, but in this cruel world if a person is required to live like this then wouldn’t it be more hurting, wouldn’t it make the world a more harsh place to live.
But this is just from my perspective. After all, others cannot solve your problems, they cannot free you from your suffering, but still they can truly listen to it. At least try to comfort you a bit, by saying nothing just by simply telling.
After all, you are only a Human.
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Hi! I am Arjun Yadav. I am an aspiring to be a Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer.