You don’t know how much I wish to talk to someone. Those words that only I can hear, those feelings that only I can feel, those emotions that only I know exists; I wish to share it with someone. But alas, that wish has now become a dream. A dream which I often dream about. A dream, which I often think about. To the bigger world, nonsense it may sound. To the larger populace, cowardice it may seem, but to me it’s just my dream.
Many times I wonder, if it is me who is foolish; that maybe it is my path which is wrong. But am I? That’s the question. Oftentimes I tried to realize my dream, found people, made friends, poured my heart and soul for them. Listening to them, trying to understand them; Hoping, not expecting but hoping that someone would do the same for me. That hope still lies within me, that hope still keeps me alive. When everything is dark, that hope becomes light. But now I fear, because those flames are turning dark, bit by bit. The light is turning dim, bit by bit. I fear the darkness; yet at the same time I want to embrace it.
Thinking, feeling; that once I embrace it everything will turn into the light. It is during my darkest days, that I look back into my past. Look into the moments and search where it went wrong. Search what would be different the next time around. In doing so, I found a beam of light piercing the darkness, stopping me from embracing me. Stopping me from assimilating in it. Just when I think everything will be alright, it is gone. The light is gone; as if it was a dream, as if it was mocking me.
Then I realize, it is not light that has been with me the longest; it is the dark. It is not the hope which has kept me alive but the fear of losing that hope which has. Still it is too late now, my words left unsaid, my story left untold. My dream; I see it being buried alive by my own hands. All I wished and dreamed is of someone who would understand me. Someone who would listen to me, someone who would just be there for me. It is hard to find that someone; it is. So I rest today, my search ends today. Loose ends that I left, hope that I left, I cut them out. From now on, it is just me, my words and the darkness that holds me.
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Hi! I am Arjun Yadav. I am an aspiring Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer.