Written by Writer Murtaza Jawad and Edited by Editor Mrinali Jadhav

Hello Mrs. Ghosh. Or is it just Shruti? If it’s the latter then I would be more than happy to call you that since I never thought of you as Mr. Ghosh’s wife, though he was your High School crush, the silence between the both of you had always been very loud. 

Forgive me for bringing up the past out of nowhere, but I believe we all have some conflict in our lives that pushes us to the edge and makes us decide something for ourselves which we normally would not. I believe, your marriage with Mr. Ghosh was something which made you realise your feelings for Barfi.

The absence of love in your marriage made you seek love from the memories you had of Barfi, the hazy memory of the moments you spent with him in the misty streets of Darjeeling. I know I made you take a trip down the memory lane but I am sure it’s not your first one, and definitely won’t be your last. 

How bewildered yet euphoric you must have felt when fate brought you two together again, but this time in the beautiful and chaotic city of Kolkata. I always wondered how torn yet excited you must have felt when you looked at a familiar face you had come to love in the years that followed your separation, and how at loss of words you were when you realised that even though you had felt a moment of happiness while looking at the only familiar face amongst the strange ones, you were not who you were before.

The painful realisation that you were not Shruti anymore but Mrs. Ghosh.How did you feel Shruti, when you saw that it was not just you who had changed, but so had Barfi? What did you feel when you looked at the person you love and saw him looking at the one he had come to love in your absence? Did you feel sad? Or were you angry at Jhilmil for entering Barfi’s life?

I’m guessing you were both, since negative feelings come easily to us, especially when we are our most vulnerable selves.In your life later on in Kolkata, you made great and difficult choices which made me respect you way more than I had before. You chose to remain by Barfi’s side when he needed you and was in trouble. In a way, you found comfort in the company of Barfi and even Jhilmil.

You knew you couldn’t have him for yourself and that he deserved the love he had come to spare on Jhilmil and so did she. I respected your choices and still do.But truth be told, I wanted you to be sad when Jhilmil got lost, but I couldn’t blame you for what you felt back then, because the hope you felt  was indeed understandable.

You chose to go away from your home and your family in search of a life you never wanted for yourself as a teenager, but had imagined and lived a 100 times in your head as an adult. You chose Barfi over Mr. Ghosh, you chose love over comfort. You chose a life your mother had regretted not choosing.But in my opinion, the bravest and greatest choice you made was when you decided to let go. When you decided to let Jhilmil and Barfi have what they both deserved, that is, each other’s company.

You realised that you couldn’t keep him for yourself because a part of him will always be with Jhilmil and you understood that holding onto someone when they have taken a different and equally beautiful road, is like holding sand in your fist. The choice that you made when you let Barfi go back to Jhilmil was the bravest thing you had done and in that moment  had nothing but utmost respect for you.You taught me a lesson.

You made me understand how letting go is sometimes the only way you can make someone stay.You made me realise that no matter how much you love someone and regret not choosing them when you had the chance, the greatest happiness lies in letting go of people when you know their heart lies elsewhere. You let go of your love for Barfi but you found love in other ways. You smiled through your tears when you saw the one you love looking at the one he loves.

My heart cried for you and your lips smiled for them.You found happiness in the hearts of others. 

In my eyes, you won.

I hope your life is as sweet as a barfi now. I hope you smile from time to time when you take a bite out of it and reminisce about the days when you were your bravest self.

Yours Lovingly,

Murtaza

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