Written by Writer Gayathri R and Edited by Mrinali Jadhav
Modern day relationships are unusually complex!!!
What makes it more complex – is it the people or the relationship itself?Some common reasons that make relationships complex are the lack of communication, failing to understand others’ perspectives, and of course, having expectations beyond limits…
However, these issues either get sorted out over a period of time or people just move out of it. But there are certain important relationships that can’t be left as such. We need to work on and sort it out. Some relationships require less effort and can be sorted out over a few months or years. But then, there are certain relationships that require constant assurance, more and more patience, and mandates continuous efforts over a long period of time…
These relationships cannot be left as such, since it might be one of the most crucial relationships or bonding that has to be taken care of for the well-being of a good family structure.
One such relationship is the bond between a Mother-in-law (MIL) and the Daughter-in-law (DIL). Though this relationship is more complicated than any other relationship, it is one of the most beautiful relationships in the World – if not for all, but at least for a few – it is strong and definitely beautiful beyond imagination. If not at global level, let’s consider our Indian families. In most Indian families, MOTHER is the guiding supreme power and care-taker of the family, and her power and bond extends to the family circle as well.
All through her life, she has been sacrificing a lot for the well-being of the family members and of course, family has always been her only priority. When a MOTHER becomes a MOTHER-IN-LAW, everything starts to look different. It isn’t the real problem. It is a matter of patience and understanding. This lady has been kind, loving, and sacrificing all through her life just for the happiness of her family.
Accepting a new member into her world would of course be a little hard. But still, she tries her best to learn and accept the new perspectives. Let’s not blame her for her values and perceptions. For centuries together, either the MIL or the DIL has always been portrayed in a negative way and their relationship has always been said to be complex. But then, it ain’t that complex as portrayed. Infact, it is the most beautiful relationship that has been portrayed negatively for generations together.
A MIL holds several important responsibilities and values that have to be transferred and inculcated to her DIL and this cycle repeats forever. This journey where the responsibilities and values are passed on isn’t that easy. There are certain things that wouldn’t be possible in today’s world but then understanding one’s perspective would definitely help sort out the things in a better way.
Also, this relationship is kind of fragile and most of them fail to understand each other. It is the simple things that make the relationship easy, smooth, and long lasting.As a DIL of the family, if you learn to understand your MIL and her perspectives – definitely you would get a friend for a lifetime. Learn to mend things with sincere efforts. It isn’t that hard to befriend your MIL.
Observe her, listen to her patiently, and try to understand her perspectives. And most importantly, do not let anyone between you two. To be honest, there will be ups and downs in every relationship, but that is where you get to know each other better. Understand one thing – it wasn’t easy for our mom’s to survive in a patriarchal society, but then they not alone survived but were able to bring up independent girls of today’s generation. It is our sole responsibility to understand them and handle them with love and care which they missed out on.
I have got a beautiful soul in my life who not only loves me but SHE has been my support system since day one in my marriage life.
Dedicating this to my loving, selfless, hard-working Mother-in-law!
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