Written By Varun R Malavalli

Edited By Mrunalii Jadhav

Hospitality – is the act of being friendly and welcoming to guests and visitors (CambridgeDictionary).

Hospitality begins at homeMy father, a respected bank employee, was known for his humour and hospitality.

I have inherited at least some of his attributes. Whenever anyone visits our home, I first offer a glass ofwater. That’s my department.

Once they settle in, mom weaves magic through her strong cup offilter coffee and delicious cooking. I often assumed that the hospitality practised at my place wasbasic courtesy extended in every home.

But I had to travel over 2000 km for a rude awakening.The warmth of Punjab My uncle was returning for good from Punjab after his retirement from government service.

In the garb of helping them pack, we decided to visit them one last time.

I had spent a few summervacations in the townships of Bhatinda and Naya Nangal while going around the beautiful stateof Punjab.

We experienced uncle-aunty’s hospitality through their love of feeding us and we hadworked quite an appetite. From lassis to samosas to Pethas to Veg Ball in Manchurian sauce,our gut experienced a plethora of delicious fare.

After missing the parade at Wagah border dueto a huge crowd and my vertical disadvantage, the disappointment was assuaged by anindulgent meal at “Haveli Da Dhaba” near Amritsar.

That must be one of the best singular mealsof my life! We had skipped lunch for a strange reason (that for another day). So we pigged outon several rich vegetarian Punjabi delicacies like Panneer Tikka, Dal Makhni, Makki ki Roti andSarson ka Saag, lassis in the biggest tumblers and finally, the velvety Gulab Jamoon.

When theside dishes in mini buckets and the breads embraced by dollops of butter made their way to ourtable, my exhaustion and disappointment disappeared just like the food served to us. Every timeI paid a visit to my uncle’s house, I felt a warmth beyond the food they fed and the sweaters theygifted.

The warmth in the smiles, embrace and the words won me over. Sometimes, when youare having too good a time, life jolts you to see the other side. Balance must be restored.Uncle’s friend, who also owned a travel agency, graciously agreed to drive us to Delhi fromNangal, and drop us to the railway station.

On Sunday, my aunt recommended that we visitmom’s cousin in Delhi but mom had a better idea. “Let’s go to Akshardham”, she goaded us.When we called the cousin in question to enquire, she dropped a bomb, “But Akshardham is notopen to the public on Mondays”.

As an afterthought, she invited us to her place to freshen upbefore boarding the train.

She was employed and we didn’t expect her to drop everything,especially because we hadn’t given prior notice.

My aunt, with all her fake sweetness said,“Can’t wait to meet you” though she hadn’t received a matching response, in words orenthusiasm.

Drama in Delhi After an early breakfast, we started for Delhi in a Tata SUV. With enough breaks for food andchai, the fuel that runs most of India, it was a comfortable drive.

I had struck a friendship with myuncle’s friend, Mr. Rashpal. Everytime someone exceeded the allotted time for break, we wouldlook at each other and burst out laughing.

I was offered the deal of one chocolate every time thevehicle is occupied as per schedule. Every few minutes, I would enquire, “Have we reachedDelhi yet?” Rashpal uncle would simply say, “You’ll know when we do”. After a few hours, Icrinkled my nose due to malodour and he then said, “We have reached Delhi.

This is theunmistakable smell of the Yamuna”. My heart still bleeds for our rivers… We got off at a teashop to call mom’s cousin at her bank.

She responded after two attempts and said, “I will belate. I can guide you to some restaurants nearby”. Apparently, my aunt wanted to have Dosa inDelhi! Travel with rigid people is part of the learning experience.

After an unimpressive “Cheese Masala Dosa”, we headed in the direction of the cousin’s apartment. She took more time toreach home from the bank, got us going in circles and we finally reached the destination. Thiswas before Google Maps was commonplace.

As she opened the door, she said, “They reachedafter a lengthy drama”! She was on the phone with her husband. She offered Dosas! “No, notagain!”, I thought to myself. Mom said, “Tea will be just fine”.

After quickly sipping on lukewarmtea, we headed to the railway station. Just before we boarded the train, Rashpal uncle bought ahuge bar of Dairy Milk and hugged me goodbye. When I looked at him with surprise, hewhispered, “You successfully completed the task” and winked.

The Singh Family: Hospitality at its finestWhen I gave a detailed account to dad regarding our trip, I asked, “How can people be so rude?Hospitality is basic courtesy, no?” He asked, “Have you forgotten the hospitality of the Singhfamily in the same city?” How could I forget? Years before the “drama” in Delhi, we were onanother vacation in Punjab. We were invited by Mr. Singh, dad’s colleague in Delhi branch. Dadwasn’t his boss, but a union leader who never accepted promotion.

Mr. Singh admired dad andinvited us for a day with their family when he learnt that we would be catching a train toBangalore from his city. The tall Sardar greeted us with a warm smile and collected our bags.Once we reached home, his parents welcomed us at the door. His diminutive but pretty wife,Mrs. Kaur, offered chai, cookies and fresh towels for a hot shower. We had tasty paranthas withcurd and pickles. After breakfast, Singh uncle took us to Palika Bazaar for light shopping andsnacks.

For lunch, we had a huge spread which also included Gulab Jamun for dessert! I mayforget the main course, but not desserts.

As the adults discussed current affairs, Kaur aunty sawboredom writ large on my face. She asked her son Bunty to take me to the grounds for a quickgame of Cricket in the park. Being an enthusiastic slow bowler, I jumped at the offer. Though itwas only 3.30 PM, we found a few kids and played a quick game. Uncle promptly fetched usjust as I was getting warmed up and said, “You have a train to catch”. Before we left, the seniorMr. Singh and his wife prayed for our safe travel back home while stuffing us with samosas andkachoris! As mom embraced them, she felt as though she was leaving her mother’s place…The true essence of Hospitality

Much later I learnt that people could study hospitality. One of my cousins has pursuedHospitality Management in Switzerland, but she has never offered a cup of coffee in all theseyears! Dad was a banker and so were Mr. Singh and Mrs. Kaur.

My uncle worked in amanufacturing unit. When I remember their warmth and hospitality and also the myriadinstances mom invites people to our home, I wonder what drives them.

By observing them Ihave learnt that hospitality isn’t in the food, the gifts or even the rituals.

Hospitality is pure intentthat flows from the heart through the words you speak and the glint in your eyes conveyed tothe hearts and minds of the visitors.

Hospitality is ensuring home away from home…