Oh! Look who’s here!
A friend and a great teacher in disguise! It’s none other than, Repression !!
Always there with you, as within so without, invited or uninvited. With its underlying nature being expressive, manages to seep in smoother than smooth between moments under whichever colour of emotions it finds suitable to release.
The word repressed is often used to describe restrained or held emotions or desires, especially those that could lead one into the zones of shame or distress. And sometimes one isn’t even consciously aware that they’re doing this.
In time and zero effort made to declutter the repressed emotions, they take place in our beings becoming like dense layers of a cake, the non-tasty kind.
It’s significance needs to be understood. Repression is like a pus, which we beautifully tend to cover. For to live through the fear of the unknown and discomfort seems too much of a thing to deal with. Over time we master the sickening art of suppressing. Yes sickening. We end up spending so much of our lives away from our truth.
Let’s also not ignore a trick it plays, after many moons one begins to resonate with the outcome of a suppressed emotion. Confining themselves to the boundaries that are ‘supposed’ to define them.
Every emotion may or may not be expressed differently on different individuals. However, in all cases it reflects in the tiniest of our body languages, actions, verbal communications, even from the skin to bones. The body hosting it all.
Our bodies being the wiser one than the monkey mind/ego, it always speaks the truth as it is. If something isn’t in tune with it, it shows that. The outer manifests the inner, and vice versa. The body doesn’t know how to play subtle games compared to the mind or ego. Hence an extremely reliable tool to know about ourselves.
When I make such a statement don’t mistake it as if I’m discarding the mind. Absolutely not. It’s a beautiful tool, if only one knows how to use it and not be used by it.
So yes, start from your body. Everything about it speaks. Languages you’ve may never heard of. A language that’s just between you and your body. Languages of tender love and relaxed awareness.
Few ways to know you have repressed emotions, well well, your body will always tell you. Listen silently and closely.
For example : muscle knots, feeling triggered when you talk about something/someone or just seeing what triggers what in you. When you’re talking about experiences that are challenging to talk about, watch your breathing, simply watch how it becomes. You’ll instantly get an insight into the emotions you’ve pent-up for that particular experience. A chronic illness, certain body parts aching, sudden sickness, diseases of all sorts. You will usually find a body-mind link. That again doesn’t mean that somethings just couldn’t be physical.
Some fruitful ways one can work with repressed emotions are active meditations, they help to jolt it out. After which silence and bliss happens on its own, naturally, effortlessly.
Talk to someone who provides a safe space, and even if an instance of betrayal happens, don’t hold yourself back from owning it. We all have our own areas of inner work.
Body work, as in workouts, yoga, etc. Breath work, breathing exercises always work like magic, try it. Self analysis (journaling) : identifying, questioning and replacing unhealthy patterns.
Using creative sources such as painting, scribbling to let things out. Not really aiming to make ‘masterpieces’ out of it but using it as a tool to master yourself. And as you will go along you’ll keep finding your own personal ways to express and letting things out.
So, take the chance towards an authentic self and de-conditioned sense of sanity. I promise what it will cost won’t be more worth than what all you unlock.
Remind yourself of the vast sky, untouched by the clouds. Breathing in you. Alive
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